Harry's REAL Worst Memory
by FFXlover C A H
Summary: Sorry 'bout that with the posting of the two GENIUS works of art and all. This is REALLY Harry's Worst Memory. I'm deleting one of them. Probably the one with the 2 reviews, because the other one's reviews are making me LOL right now XD. Anyway, enjoy!


Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. He's too large to fit in my aquarium, AND he eats live insects.

Harry's Worst Memory (or is it?)

Harry stood in the gloom of Professor Snape's office expecting the worst. He, Harry, still had no idea what Occlumency was, and had a feeling he wasn't going to like it when he found out.

"Prepare yourself, Potter," Snape demanded, raising his own wand. Naturally, he gave Harry a nanosecond in which to prepare himself. "_Ligilimens_!"

The surrounding office blurred from Harry's vision to be replaced with memories he had thought he had forgotten…memories he _wished_ had gone from his mind completely:

"Oh, Harry!"

Harry cringed from within his cupboard-room at the sound of his name being called. He knew what was coming, and resistance was futile. Harry supposed he could try to run for it, but he knew the door was locked, and figured he was only going to get a few blocks away. Slow as he was normally, Dudley Dursley could move quickly when he needed too.

So, sighing, Harry accepted his fate. He opened up his cupboard door a little to see his fat cousin blocking light from entering the dark, small space Harry was forced to call his bedroom.

"It's time." Dudley's piggy eyes were gleaming with what Harry called 'fat boy fun'. Harry sighed. It _had_ been about two hours since dinner was served. _Why_ did this night have to be beef stew night?! "Get up." Dudley didn't wait for Harry to move. He picked his smaller cousin up by the scruff of his oversized shirt and threw him out of the cupboard. Harry's glasses fell off as he slumped against the neatly painted wall. "Don't try to put them on!" Dudley warned Harry as he reached for his glasses. "I have something special for you tonight.

Without further ado, Dudley forced Harry upstairs. The fatter one pushed the smaller one into his room. Harry saw another fat boy waiting for him. He remembered one of Dudley's friends had come over for a 'study session'. Harry would've laughed if he weren't so miserable. Dudley probably didn't even know how to read.

"You got the stuff?" Dudley's friend grunted.

"Yeah," Dudley was holding a small, polka-dotted bag in his fat fist. Harry grimaced. He knew what was inside that trendy little cosmetic bag…cosmetics of course, y'idiot! "And Harry's gonna be a good little lady as we puts it on!"

"Whatever." Harry sighed. He was sick of this shit…literally, but you'll see later.

In about three minutes, Harry was staring into a mirror. His face resembled the Joker's from _Batman_…you know, the one with Jack Nicholson in it? And YES, it was around during H to the P's time! Look it up, dummy! Harry sighed for the billionth time. Dudley had gone farther than before this time. Probably because his stupid friend's here to witness, Harry thought.

"OK, you know what to do now!" Dudley said to Harry, still out of breath from laughing so hard. Or maybe that was because he had to walk down the stairs to get his mother's mascara. Well, there _was_ laughing, I can tell you that much!

ANYWAY, Harry knew what to do. The cheap Halloween costume was stuffed underneath Dudley's bed. Harry grimaced as Dudley pushed him into the closet. The closet was bigger than Harry's room under the stairs. Scowling, Harry put the costume on and looked into the mirror hanging on the door. He looked like a French maid circus clown. Exactly what Dudley wanted!

"Now, we dance!" Dudley pushed Harry out of his room and into the bathroom. The pile of diarrhea was waiting for him. Harry was use to the smell now. The only thing new to him was the makeup. Dudley's friend had brought the Walkman. They were now playing some upbeat jazz music. "Get in." Dudley ordered Harry. For a split second, Harry came to his senses and tried to run for it. Bad move. Dudley's friend hit him on the head with the walkman, leaving a smear of white and red on the player. Groaning, Harry stepped into the toilet. It wasn't as bad as you'd think it'd be…OK, I lied. It was horrible, and Harry was already gagging. Dudley didn't care.

"Now, juggle." Dudley demanded. He handed Harry some beanbags. And so, Harry juggled until it was Dudley's bedtime.

And THAT'S the memory of when Dudley made Harry stand in the toilet!

Fin.

"Headmaster, I need to speak to you about certain _issues_-" Snape stopped as he walked over to Dumbledore's desk. "WHAT are you writing?"

"Oh –er-…I get bored, too you know!" Dumbledore took his fanfic and hid it in a special spot…right next to the dildo.

Fin fr rlz


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